August 21, 2024
Best friends Jey and JJ have been by each other’s side since they first hit the gym together. They had no idea these routine workouts would lead to one of the most meaningful friendships of their lives and an incredible act of kindness: a living kidney donation.
Dealing with Kidney Failure
In 2017, mutual friends introduced Jey and JJ at a gym in Charlotte, North Carolina. As former college athletes who were well into their professional careers, they hit it off.
“We were in a unique part of life; playing sports, dating, and starting a similar career path,” Jey said. “It seemed like we were experiencing everything together. That was the beginning of our friendship.”
It didn't take long for them to become best friends and for Jey to open up about his health issues that started in 2015.
“I started running a high fever and shivering. I could tell something was wrong but didn’t agree to go to the hospital until the early hours of the next day. My then-girlfriend and now-wife insisted,” Jey said. “I was diagnosed with double pneumonia and my blood pressure was extremely high.”
Before this, Jey had never experienced a significant health issue. Since he didn’t have a family history of high blood pressure, he assumed it was the result of being so sick. With medication, he thought it would be back to normal in no time. Unfortunately, that wasn’t his experience.
“I spent years trying to find the right blood pressure medication that didn’t give me severe side effects. From an outside perspective, I didn’t look or act sick. Since I couldn’t fully manage my blood pressure, my kidney function continued to decline,” said Jey. “I now know why high blood pressure is called the silent killer. It’s one of the leading causes of kidney disease. Your kidneys regulate blood pressure. High blood pressure damages your kidneys. Damaged kidneys increase blood pressure. The cycle continues.”
Jey's friendship with JJ grew while his kidney function continued to decline. Then, in early 2021,
Jey caught COVID-19, which resulted in sepsis. Sepsis is a life-threatening response from the immune system to injury or infection. This reaction causes the body to harm itself and can result in organ failure or death if not treated quickly.
“I’m lucky because many people do not survive sepsis but my kidneys did fail. I learned I’d need a kidney transplant or dialysis by the end of the year,” Jey said. “JJ's my closest friend. He’s like family so I kept him informed but I didn’t ask for help.”
Jey had a hard time accepting the diagnosis at first. Once he did, he got evaluated and approved for the kidney transplant transplant waitlist, a necessary step to receive a kidney from a living donor.
“I didn't want people to feel sorry for me and I wasn't comfortable talking about it. I was still in denial as I processed my situation,” Jey said. “I tried to figure it out on my own but learned the only way to get better was with help from other people. I enrolled in the transplant program at my local transplant center, got put on the transplant waitlist, and learned about living kidney donation.”
Are you newly diagnosed with kidney disease? Take NKF's free online course, Kidney Disease Basics, to get the facts you need to make informed decisions about your treatment.
Donating a Kidney
In the end, Jey didn’t need to ask JJ for help.
“I couldn’t stop thinking about what could happen to Jey if I didn’t try to donate a kidney. I talked to my wife and prayed about it,” JJ said. “There were so many what-ifs but I knew one thing for certain–if he didn’t get a kidney he would die or have a low quality of life for the foreseeable future.”
JJ was the first person and last person to apply to become Jey’s donor. No one else had to because he was approved to donate.
“It’s incredible because I’m almost a perfect match to Jey. Our surgery was scheduled for December 7th, 2021,” JJ said. “I give all the credit to our transplant center. They were incredibly helpful, informative, and kind, despite how difficult COVID-19 made the process.”
Just six weeks before the surgery, Jey’s kidneys could no longer keep up with his body’s needs.
“I had to go to dialysis for six weeks. I sat in the dialysis clinic from 4:30 AM to 9 AM, three to four days a week. It is not a fun experience,” Jey said. “JJ showed up to the dialysis center my first day with coffee and breakfast sandwiches. He sat there the entire four hours, refusing to let me go through it alone.”
With his community's support, Jey managed to keep his spirits up until his transplant. When the day finally arrived, everything went perfectly.
“I woke up from surgery feeling great. When I asked how JJ was, the doctor told me he had the healthiest kidney he’d ever seen in his career, like the kidney of a navy seal. It’s been a running joke for us since,” Jey said. “I take immunosuppressant medication, work out, and eat healthy to maintain my transplant. I’m proof that you can have an amazing life after kidney failure and dialysis.”
JJ also recovered quickly with no side effects from the transplant.
“Nothing in my life has changed. I take no medications, have no dietary restrictions, and can still exercise. I need to be mindful of my hydration, protein intake, and creatinine levels but that is good practice for everyone,” JJ said. “I think if people understood how quickly donors recover and how little our lives are impacted, kidney donation wouldn’t be such a taboo.”
After the donation, Jey and JJ became closer than ever. In July 2022, they married their girlfriends, acting as each other’s best men. In early 2024, they discovered that both their wives were pregnant with due dates three weeks apart.
“JJ saved my life. Without him I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to be a husband or a father. I wouldn’t be able to continue building this beautiful life with my wife and daughter,” Jey said. “JJ is a part of me forever.”
JJ has a slightly different take on his donation.
“Hearing someone say I saved Jey’s life makes me a little uneasy. I understand because I’d say the same if he donated a kidney to me, but it’s more complicated than that,” JJ said. “The surgeons and doctors have to do their jobs. The medication needs to work. The recipient has to hold themselves accountable for a healthy lifestyle to maintain the kidney.”
JJ would also argue that he gained as much from his donation as Jey.
“I know it did so much for Jey, but I can’t put into words what it’s also done for me,” JJ said. “I have my best friend and our families are closer than ever. I have a new perspective on life. It is precious and I won’t take a single moment for granted.”
Learn more about the living kidney donation process by taking NKF’s free ‘Becoming a Living Donor’ course.
Sharing the Joys of Living Donation
After the donation, both Jey and JJ were eager to get back to normal life. They didn’t talk much about the experience outside of their family and friend group. As the years passed, they wondered if they could do more to help the kidney community.
“Jey and I were talking about dialysis. We remembered one patient who had two failed deceased donor kidney transplants. He’d been on dialysis for fifteen years and not one family member, friend, or colleague stepped up to help,” JJ said. “I and most other donors live with one kidney very successfully. The recipient on the other hand gets a second chance at life.”
If you’re struggling to find a living donor, NKF can help. Find a Big Ask Big Give transplant program near you.
JJ believes that the transplant waitlist could be eliminated if more people knew the truth about living kidney donation.
“JJ and I talked about the good we could do by sharing our story and getting involved with National Kidney Foundation. We concluded that this is an opportunity from God to make a positive change in the world,” Jey said. “It’s worth it if even one person hears our story and is motivated to get tested as a living donor. It’s worth it if one person with kidney failure reads this and feels hope.”
Jey was lucky JJ was willing and able to donate a kidney to him. They know that many others are not that fortunate. Make a financial contribution to NKF today to help fund our mission to help everyone who needs a kidney get one.
