The following is a list of suggestions from other living donors and care partners (family members and friends.) We hope that their experiences will help others through the process of donation. All the suggestions come with the heartfelt wish for donors to have a wonderful experience with donation. Please share this list with your family and friends.
This is not a comprehensive list, nor is it intended to replace the instructions from your transplant team. Rather, it is a compilation of ideas from donors and caregivers that have been involved in the donation process. Your transplant team and hospital staff will care for you and help you recover. You can review this list with your transplant team so that they can share in the list and give their feedback.
Surgery Preparation Tips
Undoubtedly, you have learned much about the practice of patience, since you have come through much testing and waiting to learn if you can donate. Draw on this strength and use it in taking care of yourself. Organize a support system and practice being your own advocate in gathering information on what you will need to do to take care of yourself. Many donors feel that donation was one of the best and most memorable experiences of their life. With preparation and information, donors are better able to have the experience that they hope for.
Post-Surgery Tips
After all the waiting and testing, the big day for you and the recipient finally arrived, and you are now in recovery. It is hard sometimes for people to put these kinds of hopes and feelings into words. You have undoubtedly done all that you could do for the surgery to be a success. No matter what the outcome is, this is a time of letting go and moving forward with the acknowledgement that no matter what, this was very, very special. You have done the giving part and now it is time to give to yourself and receive help from others.
It is normal for donors to experience a period of depression or anxiety after surgery. Keep this in mind and be gentle with your feelings. Many feelings and moods will come and go. Take note of them and remember that any depression that you feel will usually pass as well. Talk to your transplant team if those feelings linger. Take care of yourself during this time to help reduce stress. Ask for help and support from your family members, friends, and from other donors and recipients through NKF Peers.
If you know your recipient, focus on the benefit that this person received by undergoing a transplant. Any discomfort you feel is for a very good reason. If you don't know your recipient, you can write down your feelings about wanting to be a donor as a reminder when you are recovering and may not be feeling well. Some anonymous donors receive a letter from their recipients if both parties agree. If this is your situation, you can refer to that letter as you recover.
The three biggest areas of recovery are dealing with pain, getting up and around, and fatigue.
Care Partner Tips
Your help in managing visitors and facilitating necessary rest will be invaluable. It is a good idea to keep the visitors to a minimum after surgery. The donor will be dealing with pain and fatigue. Even the most thoughtful visitors can be tiring if there are many of them. The donor is already giving and will probably not have the energy to give attention to visitors, even when the visitors are offering to help. While this may vary with donors, a limited number of visitors works better. The donor may be more tired than they realized they would be, and their strength will come back with each day that they’re able to rest and eat well. This is major surgery, and restful time is key to recovery!
One donor described an effective care partner as being an "out of sight shadow or a really good waiter." Effective care partners hear instructions that the donor may not remember and make sure that the donor eats and drinks enough. They are at the hospital after surgery to help the donor walk the halls, if the doctor recommends that, and get out of bed. The nurses have more to do than most people realize, and care partners are invaluable in helping with necessary things that are sometimes time-consuming.
Care partners can help with driving, which can be difficult after the surgery, cooking, cleaning, running errands, and childcare. Donors and recipients may need someone to stay with them for a few days after surgery to help with these details. The transplant team will provide more information at evaluation and after surgery.
Care partners also gently remind the donor that they’re getting better and that recovery takes time. It's hard sometimes to remember that this surgery is usually harder on the donor because they are moving from a state of good health to a post-surgical period. While the donor is still considered healthy, they will need to recover and take good care of themself. Effective care partners are both cheerleaders and assertive advocates in the process of recovery.